Sweet Revenge
by Anora-the-Dreamer
Summary: Sango gets ticked at a pervy Miroku, and decides to get some revenge! Practical Jokes! Woo hoo!OneShot MirSan WAFF Wince Please DO NOT read this. In desperate need of pproofreading rewriting. It's my first inu fic, so I have an excuse...


**Sweet Revenge**

**By River Tam**

**Summary: **Sango gets ticked at a pervy Miroku, and decides to get some revenge. Practical jokes! Woo hoo! One-shot MirSan WAFF

A/N- first posted Inuyasha fic! YAY!

"Sango!" said Miroku, sounding way too happy. Oh, no. She really didn't need this right now and recognized 'that' look on his face. "How are you doing today?" he said, stepping up against her body and draping an arm around her shoulders, necklace jingling. Then the arm around her shoulder gradually moved down her back and...Smack!

"PERVERT! THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! YOU HAD BETTER STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM YOU LECHEROUS UNCIVILIZED STUPID IDIOT JERKY WASTE OF PERFECTLY GOOD OXYGEN!" screamed Sango, punctuating her point by slamming Miroku's head into a nearby tree.

"Kagome!" she yelled.

"Yes?"

"Could you get Inuyasha to beat Miroku up?"

"I'm sure he'd be glad to. Inuyasha!"

"Feh."

So Miroku ran screaming into the woods a laughing Inuyasha behind him.

All in all a perfectly normal beginning to a perfectly normal day.

"I can't believe him, the sexist pig. He has no respect for women. Honestly, you'd think a MONK of all people would be able to exhibit at least a little self-control. But no." fumed Sango in the middle of a pleasant conversation with Kagome, hours later.

Kagome looked at her incredulously. "Are you _sure _you don't have a crush on him?"

Ooh, judging by the look on her face that was the wrong question. She looked for a moment as though she was going to strike Kagome, then calmed down and said very sharply, "No."

Kagome shrugged, and then a knowing look graced her features, "If you say so."

Why had she gotten so pissed when Kagome had asked her that? Could there possibly some reason?

She had a memory, from one of the many demon-infested castles she had visited in her time, this one they had gone with an ancient slightly crazed exorcist who was incompetent to boot. She was convinced she was some sort of powerful priestess, go figure on that one. It wasn't her odd habit of hurling powder at Inuyasha that she was remembering it was something the old hag had said to her when Miroku was in some hole in the ground with a demon princess. "You care very deeply for the monk."

At the time, she had denied it viciously, and glared at the whole lot of them for a day or two, but then, why should SHE care if he asked every female he says to bear his children; it really shouldn't bug her that much.

"You care very deeply for the monk."

"Oh, shut up," she muttered quietly.

'But it's true'

'I SAID SHUT UP'

No response. Good. Could there have been some; dare she think it, truth in what the old hag had said?

'Yep.'

Oh, now wasn't this just perfect. Did she not have enough problems going all over the country with these physcopaths?

"Could you quit muttering to yourself?" asked an irritated Inuyasha.

She blushed crimson, and nodded. Inuyasha muttered darkly then continued to devour his food as though it was his first and last meal in/for three years.

"Sango!" said Kagome excitedly.

"Yes?" she said, sighing. There was no way to stop her friend when she got like this, all happy.

"I think you should get revenge!" said Kagome, getting more and more excited by the second.

"That much I've already decided. What I haven't figured out is the how," muttered Sango darkly.

"Well, we've got these things called practical jokes where I'm from," began Kagome, "you can do things like shove someone in water, put a bug in his clothing, do something to him in his sleep," started Kagome happily.

"You mean have him wake up sticky?" said Sango, slowly beginning to grasp the concept and look faintly amused.

"Yes! Exactly!" said Kagome, smiling even more widely.

Sango grinned, looking very creepy to those who didn't know her as opposed to mildly creepy to those who did.

"Where can I get some honey?" said Sango, laughing wickedly. Kagome just smiled.

Sango sat in her bedroll, pretending to be asleep and biding her time. She held the small jar of honey and tried to pry the lid off without much luck. Oh, no. She was not going to be stopped by this weak little glass object. She held the hiraikotsu and smashed the bottle head. It made a loud crash, but this group was some of the heaviest sleepers she's ever met. Really, that was quite convenient for Sango.

She crept over to Miroku, silent as the cat demon perched on her shoulder. She held the little bottle over Miroku and watched as the golden sticky liquid dripped all over his head, pillow, she pulled him out a little so she could pour the rest of it down his sleeping bag.

At one point in the middle she froze, hearing someone giggle. But a quick survey of the area around her showed that it was merely Kagome, who had stayed up to enjoy the show. They exchanged grins, and then slept.

Miroku turned over in his sleep, or more accurately tried to. As he slowly moved and groaned in his sleep, little strings of honey formed as he rolled over on his stomach. He swatted away an imaginary fly that had landed on his face, and unknowingly smeared the honey more thoroughly.

The first light of day broke through, and his eyelashes fluttered. Inuyasha and Shippo were out cold. Kagome, Sango, and Kirara woke up early to see exactly what his reaction would be; Kagome was even using a camera for the occasion.

Miroku fully opened his eyes and the first picture of the morning was the whole little team laughing their heads off near his bed.

Without bothering to get up, he asked, "What's so funny?"

Everyone laughed harder.

Slowly he set up, and noticed an odd wetness on his head. Well, now that he thought about it there was wetness all over him. He put his hand up against his head, and it came away sticky.

"What on earth," he muttered. Sango tossed the broken bottle at him.

"That's what you get from groping me, pervert!" she said smugly.

Miroku looked at her, bemused for a moment. Then out of nowhere he launched himself at her in an attempt to tackle her.

"What the hell are you doing?" asked Inuyasha bluntly.

"If I am going to be sticky, so is she," he said, now laughing with the rest of them.

Miroku lunched, Sango screamed mockingly and ran until she tripped over a root and went sprawling, quite clumsy for a demon slayer.

Kagome threw a pinecone, Shippo threw it back to her, and so they had their own twisted version of football. It was the first time, well, ever, that they were all laughing and having fun.

Miroku managed to wipe his honey-sodden sleeve on Sango, so she threw the bottle at his head. He had the most hilarious look on his face and Sango kept laughing until her stomach hurt.

"Why is it still funny?" he asked indignant, "You're as much of a fool as I am."

She answered without thinking, "Because you look so cute, all covered with honey," and lay down giggling for a few moments.

Time itself seemed to stop.

Shippo just stared, confused before saying, "Did Sango just call Miroku cute?"

Inuyasha was practically frozen in shock, "I think she did."

"I though she might," said Kagome, looking concerned at Sango.

It took Sango a full minute of everyone staring at her to realize what she said. 'Oh, no. I did NOT just say that. Nope, I didn't.' That was before the tears came, and she had to bury her face in her hands to hide it. 'Well, you just ruined any chance you ever had. Good job,' she started sobbing whole-heartedly.

"Sango, are you," said Kagome started towards her, placing her hand on Sango's shoulder. Sango recoiled and ran. She didn't know where, and didn't much give a damn. She didn't want to talk to anyone, not Kagome, Inuyasha, Shippo, not even Kirara and DEFINATELY not Miroku.

She leaned dup against a tree, and cried harder, rasping sobs shaking her whole body. How could she ever face them again? Well, she had made a royal ass of herself. Why did she say that?

"Wow, that's got to be humiliating," said Inuyasha as Sango disappeared into the woods.

"Definitely," said Kagome, eyes still wide. She had suspected...was almost sure...but to have it come out like that...ouch! She had to wince for her friend and hope nothing similar ever happened to her. She looked sideways at Inuyasha, well, it was already kind of obvious that she liked him for some reason. Wait! She should be concentrating on Sango! It had already begun to rain, and rain led to thunder, and thunder led to lightning.

"Someone will have to go get her," said Shippo as it became increasingly obvious she was not coming back of her own free will.

"I'll go," said Miroku, already walking off.

"Are you sure that's the best idea?" asked Kagome.

Miroku just kept walking.

He walked through the forest rapidly picking up his pace as the first bolt of lightning streaked across the sky. 'Well' he thought optimistically, 'at least the rain is washing the honey away.'

He wandered for at least twenty minutes then came upon her form hunched against the tree, shoulders bunch up against face, whole body quivering from cold and sadness. He moved so e was right up against, and ran his fingers through her hair. God, she was pretty.

The awkward silence became too much to bear. "You're freezing," he muttered half-heartedly, "We should get back to camp."

"So what?" she answered coldly, still refusing to meet his eyes.

"Come on," he said, and bent down near her. He rapped his arms around her waist (A/n yes. for once in his life just her waist) and braced her body against his and started moving in the direction he thought camp was. He moved slowly, keeping her freezing form against his and muttering what he thought were soothing words to the girl.

At that she snapped. Had she not had enough trouble from him? "You don't have to act like you care, you know," she said bitterly, a fresh stream of tears tumbling down her cheeks.

He looked down at her, stunned. Could he BE more obvious? Well, apparently. "Who said I was acting," he muttered melodramatically.

"What do you mean by that?" she asked, very confused and slightly angry. This was not the time for games.

"We're lost," he declared emotionlessly, and set down near the tree.

"THAT is what you meant?" she demanded.

He moved over near her and pulled her into his lap; she struggled a little, but ended up just twitching. HE wrapped his arms around her and gently moved her into him.

"What are you doing?" she asked, still finding his robe infinantly more interesting than his face.

"Well, we're both cold right?" he said as way of feeble explanation.

"You try anything, you're dead," she muttered passionately.

"Good to know you're okay," he said, grinning down at her, and moving her a little bit closer. Wasn't this tempting, but no. Even HE wouldn't be that insensitive.

Seriously, she had faced down countless demons, curses, priestesses, just about everything you could think of and she was scared to look this guy in the eye. Well, no more. She turned around slowly and asked bluntly, "What did you mean by that?"

He looked down at her, and wiped tear-stained eyes with his thumb. He put both of his hands in her hair, stroking it gently, holding her eyes with his the whole time. He gently pressed his lips into hers and braced himself for the blow.

No smack, no startled yelling, just the sound of the rain hitting the leaves.

That sure was nice. Should he try his luck? Well, why not. He leaned in and kissed her again, much more passionately. Miroku just stared at her; he could have sworn she'd kissed him back. Weird.

He leaned back into the sopping wet grass, and Sango curled up, her upper half resting on him, sighed happily, and went to sleep.

The next morning he was awoken in a similar fashion, minus honey and hysterical traveling mates.

Sango was still sleeping, so he picked her up and walked towards camp. When they arrived there everyone was still asleep, so he laid Sango on her bedroll and tried to walk over to his only to find out she had a death grip on his arm.

"What are you so happy about?" asked Inuyasha nonchalantly.

"Nothing! said Miroku, way too quickly.

A/N- Bad pun, he he. Okay, I went through the trouble of re-writing this about five times. So if you would please go through the trouble of reviewing? Here's a little extra humor thing I wrote when I got bored (Don't blame me, blame the boredom oh, and the coffee. Definitely the coffee.):

"Inuyasha! Can you help me out of the well? Mom brought me a lot of food."

"Did you bring Ramen?"

"Yes! Can you help me?"

"Toss me the bag"

"Here"

Kagome tosses one bag out of Well.

"Hey! There aren't any Ramen Noodles in here!"

"Don't go through my things!"

"Hey, what are these little twig things wrapped in paper? Are they food?"

"No!"

"They say 'tampons', what are those?"

"INUYASHA!"

"These taste awful!"

"SIT!"

"Feh."


End file.
